Lost findings

Have you ever lost something? You know you have seen it laying around, but can't seem to find it. You look in every drawer, under every piece of furniture, and in every cabinet. The harder you look, the more frustrated you become. You know it is right where you left it, but you can't seem to remember where that is. You know the object didn't move, but you can't find it. You say "I know it didn't just get up and walk away." You stop and try to retrace your steps, but still have no luck. Maybe if you had one of those beepy key finder things it would be easier to find. Finally when you least expect it, whatever you were looking for turns up.

Sometimes I think I need one of those beepy key finder things to find Jesus. I know He is probably right where I left Him. He didn't move or walk away, I left Him somewhere and forgot to pick Him up and take Him with me. Maybe I left Him in a drawer with my fears, under my couch filled with doubt or in my cabinet where I keep my complacency and laziness. I stop and try to figure out where and when I left Him, but that doesn't work. Hopefully, one day He will surprise me and just show up. Hopefully, while I was looking for Him under all of my "stuff" I decided to clean it out so that He will be easier to find from now on. Hopefully, I did enough cleaning that He will be out there in plain site from now on. Hopefully.

Questions?

I am at a point in my life right now where I seem to question everything. I question everything about myself, those around me and God. I don't actually verbalize these questions to anyone, but they are constantly running around in my head. I mean, I can't actually ask someone my questions about God because then that would mean that I am not as "mature" and "spiritual" as I may appear to be. My life seems to be filled with doubts and questions. There are so many things going on around me that don't make sense. Things where you have to sit back and say "God, what are you thinking?" I mean, is this all there is to life? There has to be more. There has to be so much more. I used to believe there was more. I used to have faith and hope in a future and in a God that hears me and answers my prayers. But did I?

"Lord, please reveal yourself to me again. I need a miracle in my spiritual life. I want to once again hunger and thirst after You. I long to once again hear Your still small voice and know You. Restore to me the passion that I once had for You. Lord, I don't have the faith to believe that this can even happen. Please Lord, help me to believe again."