Where Is That Invisible Friend?

Does anyone remember having an invisible friend? I can remember back in about third or fourth grade having one. I can't remember all the details but I remember hanging out with my friend at recess. In fact a couple of us had invisible friends and at the time it seemed so real and so natural.I gotta tell you, I could really use that invisible friend right now. A person that I can talk to that would truly understand what I am thinking, feeling, or saying even when I don't really understand myself. Someone who nobody else could see me talking to, who could listen to the good and the bad and still love me anyway. Someone who could help me sort it all out without taking offense or using the abandonment card. I wish I could be a friend like that. I feel a little invisible right now so if I could just add the friend part I think I would be all set on this end.

I think the problem stems from the fact that when I get close to people, I somehow lose most of myself and end up being what they want me to be. It is not their fault, I just like to be liked and I think I have been on the people pleaser express for a long time. I have idolized people's opinions of me and have kept my own thoughts and feelings to myself and have been a chameleon in order to maintain the illusion of it all. Unfortunately my physical body was taking the hits. So as I started to express things outwardly, it took me by surprise that this may produce other problems and pain probably worse than the physical pain. The only difference is that the physical pain was recurring and hopefully if my treasured idol-a-tree is cut down, all that will remain is the stump.

I don't know if this makes any sense, but I feel really alone and nothing seems right anymore. I feel like all that I have been and done is meaningless. I feel stripped and naked and wish I knew the right clothes to put on but it is all the wrong style. It may look okay on someone else, but not for me. I want to believe that the Father, Son and Holy Ghost are my invisible friends and that they will clothe me in the garments that only the daughter of a King would wear. My Father would make sure that they were not too revealing, the Son would make sure it included bridal chamber equivalents, and the Holy Ghost would be accessorizing in precious stones. Maybe even the precious stone that the builder rejected. I always liked the diamonds in the rough, nothing too flashy on the outside, but exquisite beauty to be uncovered. I am tired of everything else, I just want to hang out with my invisible friends and maybe you and your invisible friends.